Monday, February 22, 2010

Can We Live With Depression??


FEBRUARY: It is a cold and dark month. We get very little sunshine and most days going outside is next to impossible. But there is always the hope that Spring is lurking right around the corner? Don't feel that way? Well, in my opinion, that is normal.

Depression seems to hit the hardest in February. A lot of people like to blame the weather, saying they are suffering from SADS (Seasonal Affective Disorder Syndrome), and some people truly do; but I think if you have clinical depression, it can surface no matter what the weather.

What sets us off? For me, I've had a lot of heartbreaks in February. My father committed suicide in February ... does anyone really want to live through that? My brother died in February of cancer and he was only 48 years old. I could go on and on, but you get the picture. I think subconsciously things bother us more at one time than they do at others; and it is this time that we need all the support we can get. Depression is not a disease you can "go alone". It is controlled by medication and therapy but note that I said "controlled" >> not cured. There is no cure for clinical depression.

Some people will tell you to "buck up", get a hold of yourself, find a hobby, and so on. It is obvious that these people have never felt real depression or they would understand. And if they love you, they will do their best to support you even on the worst days.

The stigma of this illness is "you're crazy". Well, crazy suggests insanity. If you are depressed, you certainly are not insane. Because of this stigma, many people suffer endlessly because they are too embarrassed to admit they need help or to get the help they need.

Depression, like hypertension, diabetes, etc. etc. is also familial. I remember my teenage years when my mother spent entire weekends and days and days in bed, not talking to anyone, and then screaming her head off for no good reason. It literally made me hate her. We did not have a good relationship because of her undiagnosed depression that I had to live through. Unknowingly, I did the same thing to my children. It took me a long time to realize that I was unfit to live with. Maybe I still am, but I do try hard. At least I am not ashamed to admit I have a problem and I try to deal with it the best way that I can.

Some people will say reading this will make them depressed. It isn't a joke, nor is it funny. If you think you have this problem, get help. Do it for yourself and for the ones you love. You will eventually see the biggest difference in yourself. Learn to love yourself. Tell yourself that you aren't too bad after all. Have a talk with the man in the mirror and let him know he's OK. A big part of my healing was becoming spiritual and putting my problems into the hands of a higher being. I am not talking about religion or going to church. I am talking about things that are just too big for humans to handle on their own. The power of prayer is powerful!!! Does that sound redundant? Well, I've seen it with my own eyes and I believe in the word impossible.

Yes, we can live with depression. Or we can ignore it hoping it will fix itself and keep on being miserable. Take the test and see if your February doldrums are just that -- tired of winter; or if it is something more serious. Remember, you can't change the past; but you are in charge of your future.


1 comment:

  1. I liked this post very much. Welcome back!

    You're absolutely right about the fact that depression is something that can't be "gone alone". Ignoring it is a total mistake - finding someone, anyone, even if you have to pay them for just a few weeks (Hello, psychotherapy and support groups!) can help press the reset button and yield a better mindset for handling it in the future. Sometimes it's just great to unload everything that's bothering us - and giving it up, whether that's through prayer, or writing, can be very helpful.

    Curt

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