Yes, I agree. Chris is absolutely right. All I've been doing lately is bitching. Today I got into ANOTHER bitch session at work. It seems like gloom and doom have been following me lately and it needs to stop. Everytime I make a promise to myself that I will "be good", something happens to set me off ... and away I go -- bitching. As a matter of fact, when I got back into the office yesterday I sent my one (friendly) co-worker an email with the title "the bitch is back". So you see, I know what I am.
HOWEVER, in my defense, the argument I got into at work did come to some good and I think I won this "round". But it is ashame that I had to start a bitch session to get somewhere. I mentioned in a previous blog about people who are lazy and not dedicated to their job. I am fortunate enough to belong to the "old school" group who gives a shit about what I do to earn my paycheck. I got in trouble this morning for just doing my job.
I have to admit that some of the comments made really hurt me (and I am not a person that is easily hurt). I usually can walk away. I have the ability to sit or stand right next to a person I don't want to talk to without even seeing them there. Even though I may be burning inside, no one will know it. (Yes, I've done it.) But lately it seems I've been wearing my "heart on my sleeve" and that isn't a good characteristic for me. I don't like it.
I guess I will remember my old philosophy. You do not go to work to make friends. Your purpose there is to earn your living and you do it the best you can. Doing that job may sometimes step on toes or make people mad at you, but the bottom line (if you want to keep your job these days) is C.Y.A. at all times. I guess I forgot how to do that and still keep people thinking you like them. After all, whenever I never socialized with workers and kept my personal life and my work life separated, I got along better. Won't be letting my guard down again...I trusted coworkers and thought they were friends, and I got hurt in the process.
I'm sorry I've been so bitchy lately, Chris. I really do not care what people think of me. At the end of the day when you look in the mirror you only see yourself; and that is the person you have to take care of.
The only important people in my life are my family and I apologize that my actions have been rough on them
And I still don't like driving in the rain!!!!!
It's tough to stay positive, I know. I have to recognize my red zone. I can't get involved with neighborhood issues -- that's my red zone. Things like the recent leash issues and fining in Mt. Vernon or the Historical Society or crime. If I get involved or even read about that stuff I'm done for the day; I wan to move away. I also can't get involved in Chris' expectations. I can't do everything the way he wants and when he wants -- we think differently and when conflict occurs I have to walk away because it's a red zone for me. I also recognize my need for down time. I can't get up and do too many chores -- I limit myself to two so I have plenty of time to screw around.
ReplyDeleteMy advice: recognize your red zones.
Amen. That is good advice and I am going to try it. I am a lot more patient at things than I used to be but I still have a lot of work to do, especially at Pinnacle!!
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