WHAT IS TRUE FORGIVENESS...IS IT POSSIBLE?

What is forgiveness? I don't mean the kind where you say you are sorry; but then bring up the wrong every chance you get. I mean the true God-given forgiveness that we are taught about as children in Sunday School. Is any human capable of true forgiveness or is it a little like agape love -- coming only from God?

I ponder this because I've been wronged many times in my past, as I am sure many of you have been. I was wronged and wronged over and over again by certain people and many times I thought I had forgiven. But along comes the next time and the human mind seems to be able to dig up those old wounds and because they weren't properly healed, the scar goes deeper.

Now we all know that if you rip off the scab, the wound never properly heals. That is just common sense. I often yell at my son because he is a scab picker -- as many people are (me included but don't tell him). Anyway, back to the story ... if someone wrongs us, even in the most tiny fashion, and we can't keep that scab on that wound, then it cannot be true forgiveness.

I have always maintained that you cannot forgive without forgetting. I thought I was smug and could do that. I even preached it. I now know (BEING 60, YOU KNOW) that absolute forgiveness takes a very special person. And I am not that person.

If a drunk driver killed your only child, could you forgive him? If a angry neighbor beat your dog to death for no good reason, could you forgive him. If your husband cheated; if your best friend lied, if your co-worker used you to advance, etc., etc., could you forgive them?

I do think it is probably easier to forgive our immediate family members but that is because we want them to stay by our side. I truly believe that a mother's love is the closest to agape love that is humanly possible. I think that is because you carried that child for 40 weeks next to your heart. But certainly no all Mothers feel that way (mine didn't, I don't think); and there is nothing to say a Father can't have that kind of love. But in the natural order of things, usually it is flesh of my flesh, etc. ANYWAY, I got off of the subject.

I hear people say all the time "Life is too short for this; life is too short for that, blah blah." Is life too short to hold grudges? Maybe and maybe not but we ALL do it. In my sixty years I haven't met that perfect person yet. We can pray for God's forgiveness on us, but that is not the same thing. Can we forget?

There is one thing certain that is without a doubt. As long as the human mind has a decent memory, no one will completely forget any wrong. And like that old scar from where you picked that scab, it will remain and remind you that once there was an infection there.

I can't do it. I thought I could but I was wrong. I am being honest. I want friends and I like being around people. But I've learned that no matter how much history two people have between them, sometimes it isn't worth the effort.

Remember...the definition of insanity is "Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result." I don't want to be tagged insane, so I'll admit. I am human...and to err is human; to forgive Divine.