In Memory of My Kitty

This is just a small blog tonight. I wanted to share with you my little memorial shelf I made to a great kitty ... Mittens.

On the shelf with her little box of ashes is her collar, her picture, and her little purse with the straw hat and sixty-nine cents from Maddie. I also put a couple little cat statues in place to make it more complete.

I just wanted to share that I don't want to forget this little soul who came into my life for 14 short years.

Too Tired

I am way too tired to Blog after working the weekend and losing an hour of sleep. The old gray mare just ain't what she used to be. Just saying...

My Two Front Teef!!

I've never had nice teeth. I not only inherited "BAD TEETH GENES" but I did not grow up in the age of fluoride, braces, and all the things that people take for granted today. Now, my parents always took me to the dentist. I can tell you nightmare stories about Dr. Levan, the long dark stairway that led to his office, the sound of that old grinding drill, and I can still smell that dentist smell. I remember fillings made out of mercury and remember the little dabs of mercury that used to run around on the side table as the filling was being mixed. Wow, am I that old.

Anyway, like I said, I've never had nice teeth. I didn't think it bothered me that much but lately I got introduced to crowns and found out that with a little money I could maybe have at least decent teeth. I decided 2010 was the year. I planned by upgrading my dental plan; putting extra money in my Flex Account; and guess what?? Today I got new front teeth (3 of them).

Now these are not the most beautiful teeth in the world but to me they make all the difference. I feel like someone new. My only wish is that I could afford to have more done ... maybe next year.

If you are considering porcelain crowns, just remember one thing ... they are pretty but you cannot ever bite your fingernails again. What a challenge that is going to be!!

I'm happy, though.

Sleep Well, Little Comrade

Fourteen years ago this-coming summer I went to a picnic one Sunday afternoon at a place in York Haven that my friends refer to as "The Ranch". In the country setting, there are always a few cats. This particular afternoon there was a little gray kitten running around. Upon second look, I found out this was a polydactyl (extra toes) cat. My friend, Carl, put her in my lap and said "Here you go, Nanc ... here's Mittens." Indeed her little paws looked like mittens.

I went home without her that day.

The following day I decided to go back for her and by Thursday she was my cat. I brought her home to two other cats and the rest became history. Now, she was never a very friendly cat ... she just did not get along all that well with the other cats. She never outright fought, but she let them know she was a Diva and wasn't putting up with any alley cat nonsense.

As time wore on, Mittens drew a personality all her own. My roommate and I used to say she slipped out to the "kitty bar" when we weren't looking. She even had a little purse with a straw hat and sixty-nine cents for emergency cases. It is still here and in tact. She loved to lay on her back and sleep. We fondly started to call this the "pooh-tang" shot and she would readily lay like that if she wanted something.

She was a loner to the end. She never played with the other cats. She never left me pick her up or hold her. She lived entirely in her own little world.

A few months ago I noticed that she was losing a little weight and having lethargic days. I knew I wasn't feeding "good healthy" food; so I changed to a much better grade of cat food. Mittens rallied and seemed to be doing well. She was still much lighter and had that "old cat" look but she was happy and so was I. About a week or so ago she started hiding in the back of my closet and would only come out to drink, and hopefully eat. There were no accidents, so I assumed she was using the litter box. I went out and bought her canned food (which I hate) and she accepted it. Once again I expected her to rally. She seemed better.

Yesterday when I came home she was sleeping and very lethargic ... did not even move when I tried to pet her or pick her up. Immediately my sixth sense told me it wouldn't be long. I called upon a friend of my who is a veternarian. He was on his way to the gym but said he would stop by later and "take a look". In the meantime when I went to check on her, she couldn't even stand up. I wrapped her in a blanket and took her in my lap and talked and sang to her. When David arrived, he told me she was close to the end. He assured me that even if he took her and gave her fluid ressusitation and meds, she would still only make it approximatly five or six days. I made the decision to put her to asleep in peace.

She laid very still and when the needle went into her vein, she didn't even wince. It was over in a matter of about two minutes. I hated to see her go but was glad I was there to say goodbye. I know she is now sitting on the Rainbow Bridge looking out and saying "Here I am; the Diva" ... but don't get too close!!!

My other two cats are still looking for her. They miss her too and it seemed so funny to come home today and not see her there. I will miss her.

Sleep well, my little comrade; hope there is a kitty bar at the Rainbow Bridge.

Is It Spring Yet?

Well, folks, this weekend was beautiful. I am wondering whether or not it is a teaser or if Spring is really on it's way? Now, I am not much of an outside person ... never really have been, but I enjoy seeing the sunshine and warmth just as much as anyone else. When the sun shines, you actually feel more like doing things inside too.

Today I was driving home from the grocery store and I actually saw a man with his convertible top down. Now I thought that was pushing it a little bit but I suppose if one had a convertible, the sunshine would make you want to use it. I have to admit that I had my car window down half-way and was enjoying the fresh air.

The picture at the top of this blog is a beach in Cape Cod. Maybe it won't be too long before we can walk on the beach. God knows, this winter has been a bitch. Snow, snow, snow. We also had the cold winds, drifting, ice and all the amenities that winter can bring. I think anyone you speak with would be crazy if they didn't say they were ready for Spring.

Oh, and don't forget next Saturday we start Daylight Savings Time, too. Won't it be nice to come home and still have some daylight. I think we may all feel a little better.

Till next time, enjoy the sunshine.

Getting GEARED up for the Gym

Well, now that we are thinking about joining a gym, we will need some cute work-out gear. At PF where I probably will end up joining, you don't need anything special. My friend and I once saw a guy with a bunch of garbage bags taped together with duck tape for a work out suit. I won't tell you where the duck tape was; but let's just say it was a laugh.

I don't like to spend a lot of money on clothes to sweat in ... however I do like clean clothes every day. I see people (men especially) pull out the same stinky, sweaty outfit from their bag day after day. I'll tell you this ... you don't want to get onto the machine next to that person unless you have a nose clip. The rule should be "clean clothes from skin out".

Now, I have found that Gabriel Brothers is a good place to buy cheap work out clothes. You can get all kinds of thing there, but especially cheap large size t-shirts. I got a few with some cute sayings that are just perfect for your work out humor. You clothes should be comfortable and never tight. How some of these young girls work out in this tight stuff is beyond me. Plus, most gyms don't allow jeans, buttons and snaps, etc. -- things that will rub and scratch their equipment.

However, if you are going to buy cheap shoes -- think again. When I first started the gym, I thought I had to have sneakers in all kinds of cute color combinations. I hit Pay Less and Walmart and boy was that a mistake. You should have good shoes on your feet at all times...this is one place not to skimp. My most recent purchase was a pair of the toning trainers from the Avon book == made by Curves. They are very comfortable and are supposed to be good for your feet and legs.

Believe me, when you put cheap shoes on your feet for the gym, you will know it. I had one pair that looked wonderful but I ran them over and when I put them on my feet, I was walking on the sides. Obviously, not the thing to do!!!! Also, your gym shoes should be just that ... gym shoes. You shouldn't wear them for work, play, running around the Mall shopping or any other activity. They should be for working out only.

Now, I've got the shoes. I've got the clothes. All I need is that little extra push of effort.

What Exercise Is For Me? Or Isn't There Any??

Yesterday I touched on how exercise is one of the best remedies for depression. Today we will talk about how I can go about getting that exercise. Since the dog thing isn't going to work out, I suppose I'll have to try alternatives.

The cheapest and easiest way to exercise is to walk. Of course in the winter in Harrisburg, especially this winter, the obstacle becomes snow, ice, unshoveled walks, broken cement, etc. With two knee replacements, the last place I want to fall is on the cement so this avenue isn't really my first choice. Of course, one could walk inside. I live in a three-story building where there are lots of steps but I think my neighbors would think I was nutty if I just all of a sudden starting walking the halls. I would get tagged "that nosey old lady in 204". It's hard enough living here without that title.

Another thought someone mentioned was the work out DVD's. Come on ... my apartment is right next to the entrance door and my TV is in that room. Do you really think I am going to flaunt this flab for everyone to see? Besides, I would have to rearrange my furniture. Now, I love the Cybrex trainer ... I would gladly rearrange some furniture for one of those.

The next and most practical would be to join a gym. I used to belong to one but I quit because I just couldn't find the "umph" to drive there. Hated going directly after work and once I got home it was pointless ... I wasn't going to leave to go "that far". I don't live driving alone after dark. I did like it at PF, and it was cheap to belong there; but they didn't offer any classes or programs (why it was cheap) and I wasn't structured enough on my own.

I did find a gym very close to my house with all kinds of programs. They even have a class on Tai Chi for Arthritis, which my daughter has been telling me to go to for a long time. They have a pool with water aerobics and all kinds of machines and programs for all ages. What is stopping me? The cost. It would be above my limit and it makes me mad but my friend just told me ... "that is to keep the riff-raff out". He's probably right.

Well, I could go on and on with excuses but I've got to have a program in place by my next appointment with my nutritionist. It is my last step for my surgery. What am I going to do???

I keep thinking that if all this is involved in getting old, maybe the alternative isn't so bad after all. LOL

Should I Rent A Dog??

Yesterday’s blog was about depression. Now we are going to explore ways of combating said depression.

One sure way is to get a dog. Dogs are a lot of fun but they are also a lot of work; thereby taking up the time you used to spend fretting and worrying. Of course now you have something new to worry about … dogs require a lot of care; hence vet bills, food, upkeep, etc. However, the rewards come in licks to the face, a furry lap robe, someone on the other side of the bed, and grateful generosity. They are a lot of company.

Now, I have three cats and I love them. They are company when they choose to be. There are times you could come to my house and think I have no cats at all … they like to hide. Sometimes when I am reading or watching TV, I can look around and not a cat is to be found. No so with a dog – they will always be where you are (unless of course they don’t feel well or they are being disciplined). Dogs have a very human-like personality.

I heard once that independent personality people are cat people and dependent personality people are dog people. That may be true because the older and less independent I’ve become, the more I have yearned for a dog. I was seriously considering one about a year ago but my landlord put a stop to that dream – no dogs.

Now, I have a grand-dog and I love her dearly. She is allowed to visit at my house, and even stay but I always hate to see her leave. She is generous with kisses and affection and she lets you know every minute that “she is there” … PAY ATTENTION TO ME!!

I am having weight-reduction surgery in a few months. One of the requirements is to start an exercise program. I’ve been very lax about that. I heard on the radio yesterday that people with dogs on the average get more exercise that people who join the gym. You know, a dog cannot be ignored like that dusty gym membership.

My next thought would be to “rent a dog”. I know friends who have dogs that they don’t have enough time to walk (is there ever enough time, according to the dog?) so I could probably find a dog to amble along the river with. What is wrong with this picture? The problem would be that I would grow so attached to the dog that I would be even more depressed when I had to take it back to it’s rightful home. Therefore, renting a dog is not a good idea for someone like me.

For right now, I am stuck dog-less so I guess I’ll have to explore other methods of getting my exercise. I could put one of my cat’s on a leash but they all three hate the outside. I would have to rename them cigarette and take them out for a drag!!

Can We Live With Depression??

FEBRUARY: It is a cold and dark month. We get very little sunshine and most days going outside is next to impossible. But there is always the hope that Spring is lurking right around the corner? Don't feel that way? Well, in my opinion, that is normal.

Depression seems to hit the hardest in February. A lot of people like to blame the weather, saying they are suffering from SADS (Seasonal Affective Disorder Syndrome), and some people truly do; but I think if you have clinical depression, it can surface no matter what the weather.

What sets us off? For me, I've had a lot of heartbreaks in February. My father committed suicide in February ... does anyone really want to live through that? My brother died in February of cancer and he was only 48 years old. I could go on and on, but you get the picture. I think subconsciously things bother us more at one time than they do at others; and it is this time that we need all the support we can get. Depression is not a disease you can "go alone". It is controlled by medication and therapy but note that I said "controlled" >> not cured. There is no cure for clinical depression.

Some people will tell you to "buck up", get a hold of yourself, find a hobby, and so on. It is obvious that these people have never felt real depression or they would understand. And if they love you, they will do their best to support you even on the worst days.

The stigma of this illness is "you're crazy". Well, crazy suggests insanity. If you are depressed, you certainly are not insane. Because of this stigma, many people suffer endlessly because they are too embarrassed to admit they need help or to get the help they need.

Depression, like hypertension, diabetes, etc. etc. is also familial. I remember my teenage years when my mother spent entire weekends and days and days in bed, not talking to anyone, and then screaming her head off for no good reason. It literally made me hate her. We did not have a good relationship because of her undiagnosed depression that I had to live through. Unknowingly, I did the same thing to my children. It took me a long time to realize that I was unfit to live with. Maybe I still am, but I do try hard. At least I am not ashamed to admit I have a problem and I try to deal with it the best way that I can.

Some people will say reading this will make them depressed. It isn't a joke, nor is it funny. If you think you have this problem, get help. Do it for yourself and for the ones you love. You will eventually see the biggest difference in yourself. Learn to love yourself. Tell yourself that you aren't too bad after all. Have a talk with the man in the mirror and let him know he's OK. A big part of my healing was becoming spiritual and putting my problems into the hands of a higher being. I am not talking about religion or going to church. I am talking about things that are just too big for humans to handle on their own. The power of prayer is powerful!!! Does that sound redundant? Well, I've seen it with my own eyes and I believe in the word impossible.

Yes, we can live with depression. Or we can ignore it hoping it will fix itself and keep on being miserable. Take the test and see if your February doldrums are just that -- tired of winter; or if it is something more serious. Remember, you can't change the past; but you are in charge of your future.